Monday, November 27, 2017

Cease & Desist

Looks like Christmas has come early for Kailyn Lowry, Ryan Dolph, Barbara Evans, Randy Houska and Chelsea DeBoer in the form of a cease and desist letter via the LAAAAND from Jenelle & Uncle Bad Touch!

On Monday, November 27, the Teen Mom 2 stars and stars adjacent shared the news with fans on Twitter, and honestly I am fucking here for it.

Mother of 3, recent Delaware State University graduate and co-host of the "Coffee Conversations" podcast, Kailyn Lowry made the delivery of the non-binding, hardly foreboding legal document a laughing matter.




Happily married stay at home mother of 2, Chelsea DeBoer, also found humor in Jenelle's ridiculous antics.


DeBoer's father Randy Houska, who is frequently featured on the show, ALSO received a c&d from the swamp dwellers.  Randy is a successful dentist in Vermillion, South Dakota, who I'm sure had no trouble realizing how non-threatening Jenelle's cry for attention letter was.  He served an excellent clap back with a reference to Dustin, the first of many lawyers Jenelle has been seen with on the MTV reality series:


Jenelle's former close friend Ryan Dolph also let his Twitter followers know Evans, who has been pregnant four times by four different men, also served HIM with the legal document.


He was then ever so kind to clarify his words for those who don't speak swamp.


And last but not least, Jenelle also gave one to her estranged mother, who currently has full custody of Evan's oldest son Jace, Barbara Evans.

First of all, kudos to literally everyone for laughing this off.  A cease and desist isn't formally pressing charges.  Nobody has to appear in court.  The definition of "cease and desist" is: A cease and desist letter is a document sent to an individual or business to stop purportedly illegal activity ("cease") and to not restart later ("desist").  

Okay, let's break this down.

So essentially, (read this in your best Jenelle or Lurch accent please) Jenelle and David drafted themselves up one of them fancy word letters tellin' their haters they need to stop running their gosh dang mouths about them or else they might be fixin to sue.


Idiots.

There's one theory that Jenelle is sick of all the click bait articles the cast members share for monetary gain that are filled with literally no news or gossip.  I don't think that's the case, because if you check Jenelle's Instagram, Twitter or Facebook (or so I'm told, I don't know for sure because she FUCKING BLOCKED ME), all she does is share click bait Teen Mom related articles.  While I wouldn't put it past the swamp Princess to be a pot calling a kettle stoned, I don't think that's the issue we're dealing with.

I PERSONALLY believe she's nervous her TM2 cast makes could spill the details about what really went down backstage at the reunion (you know the one where David got drunk and pulled a knife and Chelsea had to hold Kaiser while Jenelle went beserk). So far MTV has catered to every whim Jenelle has in editing.  They've somehow glazed over the child welfare investigation that was launched when her youngest daughter, Enchilada Ensley was born with marijuana in her system.  I personally think that Jenelle is worried her perfect little facade will be shattered if one of her cast mates is asked about it.  

This whole thing is hilarious because Jenelle would first have to prove any of the cast mates were posting specifically about her, and then would have to prove they were intentionally posting lies (laymen's term for libel), which I'm almost positive she'll never be able to do.  Jenelle basically had the one back country lawyer who will make house calls to the swamp draw up some papers that are the equivalent of getting a note sent home from your third grade teacher for giggling in class.  I think what Jenelle failed to realize is that neither Chelsea, nor Kailyn, or Randy or Barbara are criminals, so going to court doesn't scare them.  I'm sure when you're a seasoned criminal as Jenelle is, the thought of going back to a court room is daunting, but if you're an actual contributing member of society, it doesn't seem like a threat at all.

Meanwhile, in the land of spray tans and and dead lifts, Jenelle's ex-fiance and father of her 3rd fetus (but the 2nd child she carried to term), Nathan Griffith, had a few cryptic things to say in 280 characters or less:




Nathan DEFINITELY took a dig at Jenelle and her soul mate of the week who have continually been criticized for alleged drug use and constantly remind the world that they are victims.  He also made sure to include a few pictures of him looking happy and healthy, with his current long time girlfriend and his two children, Emery, and Kaiser (who he shares with Jenelle).

God I love these idiots.




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